My Version of the Classic Sea of Reeds Joke

Mother: “What did you learn in Religious School today?”

Child: “I learned about the crossing of the sea in the Exodus story.”

Mother: “Tell me the story?”

Child: Well, when the Israelites came to the shores of the sea they saw that the Egyptian army was closing in on them. So Moses posted a Tweet and then updated his Facebook status asking for reinforcements and soon thereafter a fleet of drones appeared and attacked the Egyptian army, holding them off. That gave the Israelites time to build a pontoon bridge across the sea. As soon as the Israelites had finished crossing, Miriam and the women danced, taunting the Egyptians. I don't think they were twerking, but it was pretty offensive, I guess. The Egyptians got angry and stormed across the bridge, but Moses and the Israelites used remote detonators to blow it up before they could reach the Israelite’s side. The Egyptians couldn’t swim and there were crocodiles. It wasn’t pretty.”

Mother: “Is that really what they taught you?”

Child: “Well…not exactly, but if I told you what they really taught me, you’d never believe it!”